literature

Coffee Burn

Deviation Actions

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Literature Text

He limped into the front door, wanting nothing less than a puff and cup of mocha.  

The place was dimly lit, as any good coffee shop is.  Posters of this and that band lined the walls, from shows long past.  Even a crappy black and white advertisement for a Nirvana concert.  In it Kurt Cobain’s hair was matted, as always, with that pose where he’s up front right by the camera while the rest of the band stands off to the side on some steps, or something.  Oh, and there was a faded "Support the Troops, End the War!" sticker.. seriously.

But as he stepped in, leg muscle still twitching, his body relaxed.  The sweet smell of bitter coffee filled the air, practically bathing the world inside with a brown aura which may as well have been gold.  Nothing gets to him like coffee, nothing (well, except the smell of his girlfriend’s hair).  Limping behind the counter to Maddy, the first shift barista, he dazedly smiled at her before turning off into the “Employees Only” hallway at the far left end of the counter.

Down the hall and first door on the left, there his locker was.  Sighing, he tugged off the left sleeve of his black fleece coat slowly.  His shoulders and arms were still marked with bruises visited upon them from the accident.

… the accident, he grimaced.

“Hey, Love,” said Maddy who’d managed to sneak behind him into the locker room.

“Hey Maddy, how was your day?”

“I’ve been worried, about you.”

“I’m fine,” he said, very unconvincingly.

“Bull shit, you shouldn’t be here every day.  Take the job your friend mentioned, and go someplace else.”

“This one’s fine,” he said, still unconvincing.

“Then it’s time for you to wake up and smell the coffee.  Your job is to stay away from this place from now on, got it?”  Then Maddy was on the ground, bloodied, torn dress barely covering herself.  And he stood over her, horrified.  It had happened again, only this time… this time… he’d been too late to stop the mugger from… from…

Looking into her accusing eyes, she faded, while he screamed at the heartache and loss of his love, Maddy.

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He woke sitting up on the couch in his living room in a cold sweat, sobbing.  She’d left him, Maddy had really left him.

Amber hair and all, she was gone.  No more gorgeous grins or smiles.  No more practical jokes, or dancing lessons filled with laughter.

“Hun, you alright?!” said a voice from the recliner across from him.  

It was Maddy.  

There had never been an accident, it was all in his head… or was it?  The truth was that they both worked at a coffee shop in a bad neighborhood, and she’d almost been mugged and… forced to do things, the week before.  He couldn’t let that happen again… he’d take the job his friend had given him.

Quickly, he brushed off the blue cotton blanket from his lap and walked over to Maddy.  As she looked up at his face, he kissed her full on the mouth letting his worry and all soothe itself away, as they both sighed & breathed life into one another

“Love, are you okay?” Maddy’s navy blue eyes were cracked, hand delicately resting upon his chin; her entire posture stricken with concern.

”Yeah, I’m just thinking that we should move to that apartment your brother was talking about and get out of this place.”

She smiled at him, glad he’d finally been able to make the decision she knew her Love would.  Everything would be coffee and roses again… without the crappy posters.
.... something I wrote very randomly a ways back. Everyone in my creative writing course (where I turned it in for group editing) wanted to know where it came from. I didn't, and still don't, have any real idea. Most events in stories are supposed to be connected to yourself in some way, to the writer's mind I mean.

Personal experience is written into the page, and everyone wondered if I had experienced something like this. I haven't.

Although, now that I think about it, I had a dream with the opposite events, meaning, and ending in real life...

But that's another story, for an evening when I'm far less than completely sober (which doesn't happen often ;))
© 2008 - 2024 WindShaman
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nightmary's avatar
This one felt very personal very fast. I liked it.

the only thing that seems off to me is the fact that he refers to the first incident as an accident...
it makes the next incident almost seem like some kind of supernatural event before you explain that it was a mugger. It also seems like if they both knew that whatever the "accident" was (since we don't know from this story), was related to the people in the area, and their intentions about the coffee shop (and/or Maddy), that he wouldn't refer to it as an accident.